I get the “Where you from” question about 100 times a day, as an introductory message.

It drives me, and EVERY other woman on Fet absolutely insane. Like, INSANE.

I know, I know, alot of men think to themselves “well I need to know where she lives if we’re going to hook up!”, but guys, who says we’re hooking up?

That’s such a wild assumption. I don’t know you. You have a photoless profile, with no about me section, and your username is “ViolentRapistConfederateFlag”.

Asking “Where you from” lets us girls immediately know that you’re 1) not reading our profiles, 2) are already assuming we’re interested in you even though you’ve done NOTHING to entice us, and 3) not existing in any sort of reality that is conducive to actually getting together.

Lets pretend Fetlife was a bar. Filled with people. Music playing. Drinks being served. A diversity of patrons. You see a girl you fancy. You immediately put on a ski mask to hide your face, then write “assfucker6969” on your white shirt, walk up to her, take your penis out, and shout “WHERE YOU FROM” in her face.

That’s the real world equivalent of the “where you from”, as a first message, on Fetlife.

Fetlife is not a magical playground where the baseline rules of social etiquette don’t apply.

Let me give you the NUMBER 1 RULE that will help you get into a woman’s pants: She has to feel SAFE with you.

So ask yourself that question, before you formulate your messages to us super sluts: “Is this message going to create good feelings in this woman? Will this message make her MORE likely to connect with me, or LESS likely?”

Really ponder that question. I can’t tell you how many men absolutely self destruct in my inbox because they find out I’m not a sex robot programed to immediately satisfy everyone of their depraved desires IMMEDIATELY.

Here’s a recent interaction.

Guy: “Hey my dick”

Me: “What?”

Guy: “You want?”

Me: “What?”

Guy: “Where you from?”

Me: “Why?”

Guy: “Dick.”

Guy; “Hello?”

Guy: “Where are you?”

Guy: “I’m hard”

Guy: “Where you from”

Guy: “fake bitch”

This guy actually had my attention for a moment, and just immediately blew it, by I’m assuming masturbating so furiously in his parents basement that all blood flow was cut off to his brain.

You know what else was cut off? Him, from any potential access to me, of my holes.

Guys, I beg you, if you wouldn’t say your opening message to a girl to her face, out loud, in the real world, then do yourself a favor, and don’t send it on Fet.

Save the filth, for after we’re actually interested in you.

It’s a pro tip!